Was 2021 a great year or what? Don’t answer.

Thanks to the work of the House’s Jan. 6 committee, and thanks to our still-free and independent press, we’ve been showered with fresh information about the insurrectionist attack on our democracy — the planning, execution and aftermath.

Have you kept up with the dirty details? Here are 10 brain-teasers to test your knowledge. Afterwards, you can always shower off the stink. The answers are down at the bottom — but no peeking or Googling!

1. Trump chief of staff Mark Meadows urgently emailed a Justice Department official with breathtaking news about an evil conspiracy that he believed warranted investigation. What was it?

a) Biden supporters in the National Security Agency had used Chinese satellites to cancel Trump votes in five swing states.

b) Biden supporters in the CIA had used Italian satellites to remotely switch votes from Trump to Biden.

c) Biden supporters in the Defense Intelligence Agency had used Russian satellites to trick Venezuelan computers into altering the results in Georgia and Arizona.

d) Biden supporters in NASA had threatened to jam all transmissions from Japanese satellites unless that nation agreed to remotely throw Michigan and Pennsylvania to Biden.

2. The Jan. 6 committee has released a 51-page report that nails Meadows as a core player in the failed coup. But acting Deputy Attorney General Richard Donaghue concluded long ago that Meadows’ various election fraud theories were:

a) “pathetic idiocy.”

b) “laughable fraudulency.”

c) “pure insanity.”

d) “dangerous lunacy.”

3. Jim Jordan texted Meadows, prior to the ceremonial counting of electoral votes, advising that Vice President Pence:

a) “should call out all electoral votes that he believes are unconstitutional as no electoral votes at all.”

b) “should kiss the ground our President walks on, because if not for our President, he’d be a loser.”

c) “should get with the program, or else something will land on his head worse than that fly at his debate.”

d) “should announce that not a single word in our Constitution says that the vice president shall certify the beneficiary of massive election fraud.”

4. Like the Wicked Witch dispatching her flying monkeys, Trump at his rally commanded his followers to march to the Capitol and

a) “be tough very strongly.”

b) “fight like hell.”

c) “tell Crazy Nancy I said hello.”

d) “get me a bigly beautiful souvenir.”

5. Prior to the insurrection, one scholarly Proud Boy wrote on a group chat that he and his manly MAGA men intended to storm the Capitol in order to

a) “target the black cops.”

b) “spread our feces with extreme prejudice.”

c) “burn it all down and pose for selfies.”

d) “smash some pigs to dust.”

6. Texas real estate broker Jen Ryan, who flew to the insurrection on a private plane and predicted she’d never be jailed because “I have blonde hair and white skin,” wound up jailed for 60 days. In court she’d insisted that the prison sentence was unfair, because

a) “this is not anything that remotely resembles who I am.”

b) “I’d been invited to exercise my free speech rights by my President.”

c) “I never thought I’d be persecuted so badly for being white.”

d) “I have two condo closings next month that I really can’t miss.”

7. Jacob Chansley, the invader who wore horns on his head, ultimately landed in the slammer — where he requested, in his words,

a) “a Trump 2020 pillow.”

b) “a special organic diet.”

c) “a Jesus coloring book.”

d) “a TV so I can watch Tucker.”

• 8. Who is retired Army Col. Phil Waldron?

a) He claimed that dead Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez fixed the election for Biden.

b) He waited in Dallas with the QAnon people for JFK Jr. to show up undead.

c) He wrote the coup PowerPoint that was shown to congressional traitors.

d) He hugged Trump at the Jan. 6 rally and cried very strongly.

9. A few months after the insurrection, Trump told ABC’s Jonathan Karl that the goons’ demand to hang Mike Pence was:

a) “so beautiful, very strongly.”

b) “what you’d expect from very good people.”

c) “so heartfelt, very strongly.”

d) “common sense.”

10. The other day, referencing the work of the Jan. 6 committee, someone remarked: “It was a horrendous event, and I think what they’re seeking to find out is something the public needs to know.” Who said that?

a) Jamie Raskin

b) Liz Cheney

c) Kamala Harris

d) Mitch McConnell

Bonus. True or False: The Jan. 6 committee is trying to turn over every rock. But no matter what it ultimately unearths, roughly half the people in this country will sleepwalk to the end of democracy.

 ———

ANSWERS: 1) a 2) c 3) a 4) b 5) d 6) a 7) b 8) c 9) d 10) d

Bonus: Take a wild guess.

     

Dick Polman, a veteran national political columnist based in Philadelphia and a Writer in Residence at the University of Pennsylvania, writes at DickPolman.net. Email him at dickpolman7@gmail.com

(4) comments

SoDakD

VoiceforAll

Didn't see a question about why Nancy Pelosi is restricting access to the Jan. 6th documents being requested by republicans? Answer, she is hiding details and the truth to keep her narrative and to keep all you naïve democrats foaming at the mouth. This is just like the Trump-Russia collusion story, the truth came out and now you don't hear a word about it from your side, you lied then and you are lying now. And now your great vice president is comparing Jan. 6th to Pearl Harbor and 9/11, is there really no end to what these stupid, so called leaders in Washington will say or do? How do any of you justify what Kamala is saying? How do you look any of the families of those that lost loved ones in those two attacks and say, we know what you are going through, this is the same thing, only worse? Your party proves day in and day out how out of touch you are with reality, you have gotten drunk on your version of power, you have no dignity left in your party, your president can't put a sentence together without reading it, your vice president has zero ideas of what it takes to be a vice president and says ridiculous thing after ridiculous thing. Your party makes claims like what Kamala is saying now that does nothing but take what the thousands that died at Pearl Harbor and on 9/11 and makes those sacrifices meaningless, all in the name of wanting more division and more political power. You have made Covid worse by not listening to doctors and only listen to politics, you have destroyed this county and you have no shame in doing it. So, the answer to all these questions is, they can't be answered correctly, when the democrats won't let truth out, just like Covid, they censor anyone that has a different opinion, just like the Russia collusion, which was all lies, and now just like Jan. 6th, do you see a trend here democrats? God help this country.

VoiceforAll

And now I just read that during Biden's speech, he used the name of a police officer that died on April 2nd that was ran over by a Louis Farrakhan follower two months after Jan. 6th. What? Where did this come from? Apparently he didn't think just one police officer that died, even though the medical examiner said he died from natural causes because no one had any weapons with them that day, was enough so he had to bring in yet another officer that died, 3 months later from something totally unrelated. Are you listening to what this guy and all your other leaders are saying? All they do is just throw stuff out there, expect people to believe them, censor any truth, move on to the next lie, and repeat. This is all beyond belief of what the leaders of this country should be doing, it gets crazier and crazier each and every day they are in office.

SoDakD

Voice, it’s always fascinating to me how Americans can look at the very same political phenomenon and come away with entirely different conclusions.

I wonder how you would explain the initial reactions of Republican politicians in the immediate aftermath of the January insurrection. (Before they stuffed their candid, immediate responses down the “ Trumpster memory hole .”)

Kevin McCarthy: “Trump bears responsibility for Wednesday’s attack on Congress by mob rioters. He should have immediately denounced the mob when he saw what was unfolding, These facts require immediate action by President Trump to accept his share of responsibility, quell the brewing unrest and ensure President-elect Biden is able to successfully begin his term.”

I have more quotations from prominent Republicans, but I’ll save them so you can focus on them one at a time.

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